Coping, therapiers, tips... : Talking can help
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Talking can help
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Over the last 10 years, I have often lied to people. I always had imaginative ideas as to why I didn't get a salary or simply didn't have any money.
In 2023, I spoke openly with my friends, my parents and my wife about the issue.
I got a lot of help. In the meantime, I have no access to my financial resources for the time being.
My wife manages my ID, card and online banking access. If I need something, she gives it to me or buys it for me.
It's hard, but it's the only way to make it work in the long term.
We've already come up with other ideas for the future. For example, she gives me €250 and I have to make do with it for 2 weeks.
From my side, I can really only recommend to anyone who wants to come to terms with the issue to talk to people about it and get help, not just on the internet but also in real life.
We all work hard for our money, gamble away several thousand euros in a year and are happy when we manage to pay out a fraction of it.
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Talking can help
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ExSpielsuchti
I wish you all the best.
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Thank you, I've stopped every now and then over the last few years, but unfortunately there were one or two times when I lost control and lost my entire salary.
I checked all my sales in November and I've gambled away €27,000 since 2020, although there were a few big payouts in between.
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Talking can help
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ExSpielsuchti
I wish you continued control and strength. It's always good to have family and friends who can help even in difficult situations, and I don't mean financial help.
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Talking can help
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ExSpielsuchti
Not everyone is perfect. Anyone who opens up and confesses their addiction deserves respect and support. That's what you got. Consider yourself lucky. Not everyone is as understanding as your family and friends. Older people (parents) in particular grumble when they hear something like this. The world is constantly changing and so has gambling. In the past, there weren't so many opportunities to gamble. Nowadays, you can play at least Merkur & Novoline in every little town.
The important thing is to talk about your feelings. Communication has always been the be-all and end-all in a relationship (of any kind). If you feel that you are having a hard time or want to play again, then talk to your family about it. You don't have to be embarrassed - at least with your wife.
You're 100% right about the last sentence. At the end of the day, we play to win back the money we've gambled away. Money comes in, money goes out. But we don't get back the time we spend on it. A wise person once said that money = time.
Enjoy your regained freedom and stop looking back at the past
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Talking can help
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ExSpielsuchti
i am Susanne, an employee of a counseling center for Gambling addiction, and I would also like to congratulate you. I think it's really great how you're managing everything. It's really great that your family is so supportive. That really can't be taken for granted. You are very consistent in what you do. You've built in a few hurdles so that you don't go back to gambling. I don't think that was an easy step for you. But I know from experience that it was necessary, otherwise you wouldn't be where you are now. And you can be sure that if you continue on this path, you'll be able to manage your own money again at some point. Of course, I also know that not everyone succeeds in breaking their gambling addiction. It is often a long road with many setbacks. I'm sure your example will encourage many others who haven't gotten that far yet. Stay strong and keep working towards your goal. If you still need tips and advice, feel free to write to me directly. It really is worth quitting gambling. Gambling creates so much stress and negativity. Thank you for your great contribution.
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In January, I had no thoughts about gambling at all. It feels liberating. I'm no longer waiting for my salary to arrive. I'm no longer worrying about how I'm going to pay for this and that. My wife still manages my finances, but I've finally had money in my wallet for weeks without having to run to the casino, betting shop or petrol station to buy PSC.
I'll post in this thread every few months and use it as a little diary.
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