Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

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Elite

Daniel

GambleJoe-TeamverifiedTopic Creator

Forum posts: 2.232 Member since: 12.10.2012

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

24th Oct. 2017, at 09:27 am CEST#1

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I think every player knows these situations, in which an appointment with a bank advisor, a tax advisor, at the employment office or other is imminent. Simply situations, where normal people examine the bank account and you may have to explain yourself. The bank account looks through all the money in and out, as well as cash withdrawals as if an atomic bomb had hit and you think about how you should justify or how you can still hide his gambling addiction.

I mean you are already ashamed of yourself when you realize that there are homeless people, single mothers or other financially poor people who can barely make ends meet and you yourself gamble and waste your money without sense and reason. The shame becomes (at least with me) but even more violent when a day comes where you have to explain yourself in front of other, normal people possibly, which can not comprehend the high probability.

How do you deal with such situations? Do you disclose everything or do you think of any excuses to explain the payment history on your bank account without having to talk about the Gambling addiction?

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Anonym

Former Member

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

24th Oct. 2017, at 09:48 am CEST#2

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I already had the situation that the boss of my bank asked me about it. Of course I said: I am a gambling addict. With it the topic was then already as good as from the table

In general, I can only say about everything - just go through life as honestly as you can and you will gain a massive quality of life. Even if it means you have less money

For myself, lying is now really completely too stupid and too costly. In the end, lying harms yourself the most. When people lie to others or to me, I do not feel anger towards them but rather pity for the fact that one considers it necessary to lie...

By the way, you don't have to justify your Gambling addiction to anyone but yourself

I think you think too much about the reaction of the person. What should he say, even if he tells you or thinks: "you are stupid", then that is his opinion. Nothing more than the opinion of an individual. He probably won't tear your head off or kick you in the balls for admitting to being a gambling addict.

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Elite

Daniel

GambleJoe-TeamverifiedTopic Creator

Forum posts: 2.232 Member since: 12.10.2012

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

24th Oct. 2017, at 11:18 am CEST#3

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Basically / in theory you are right (just stand by it and be honest). In practice, however, this is not so easy to implement. It is important to people what other people think about them. And this is not so easy to train off.

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Anonym

Former Member

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

24th Oct. 2017, at 12:02 pm CEST#4

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Daniel wrote on 10/24/2017 at 11:18: Basically / in theory you are right (just stand by it and be honest). But in practice it is not so easy to implement. People care what other people think about you. And this is not so easy to train off

Of course it is not easy but it is worth it. What is "not so easy" usually brings you more in life than the simple and fast way.

There will always be people who think you are a weirdo, a jerk or whatever (even without Gambling addiction that would be the case). The bigger problem is that you have a very bad opinion of yourself because of your gambling addiction and you don't want others to think about you the way you do partly because of your gambling addiction. But you are more than just your gambling addiction and other people will see that if they are in their right mind.

If someone attacks you because of your gambling addiction then that is their character weakness not yours. Your weakness is only the gambling addiction itself, you should accept that, only then you can work on the addiction so that you have some respect for yourself again.

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Anonym

Former Member

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

24th Oct. 2017, at 12:19 pm CEST#5

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I can only agree with Tomwegas. The situation does not change, because the consultant will see it anyway. See it simply as a hobby and share it with the people also so

Imagine the following situation. Someone has an appointment at his bank and his account is examined, let's call him Peter

Peter has a hobby. Namely, he likes model trains and handicrafts. Peter always pays with card etc. Possibly even very high amounts because this hobby is not cheap. Do you think Peter makes something out of it that the bank advisor would possibly think: Man what a nut!? An adult man who plays with trains!?

Or the 80 year old Liselotte who has been getting lottery tickets twice a week for decades? She probably won't say: I'm a gambling addict and have been for years.

Peter and Liselotte will simply stand by it and possibly even proudly announce that this is their hobby and is good

You should do the same. Just stand confidently and sovereignly and when asked what this is now simply say: I like to play in online casinos. This is a hobby of mine. You do not have to immediately raushauen that you are addicted to gambling. A, it's nobody's business and B, it's not a lie if you tell someone something like that

I can completely understand you and your way of thinking. I also thought like that for years and it was hell. I came up with one lie and excuse after another. Stories that could have been made into movies, as long as no one noticed that I was a gambling addict. But like Tomwegas, I rethought my way of thinking and have been very open about it for years. Everybody has skeletons in the closet. As long as one stands to it, the life will run very much more simply. Even your bank or tax accountant has enough skeletons in the closet, try to look at it that way. You are neither better nor worse because of it. After all, it's your money and you can do whatever you want with it.

You will be surprised how positively people deal with self-confidence and honesty

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J****r

Forum posts: 399 Member has been banned

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

24th Oct. 2017, at 03:13 pm CEST#6

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Anyone who has ever had to deal with the job center knows this situation. in 2013 I was registered there for over half a year and they asked me who "Mr. Cash" is ... lol ... I said online casino. She smirked a bit arrogantly and advised me one can only lose there and I should be careful and that was it.... I have not even explained because their arrogant view I could not have changed anyway...

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c****7

Forum posts: 149 Member has been banned

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

24th Oct. 2017, at 04:07 pm CEST#7

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In my opinion, you should not tell everyone that you gamble. First of all, it's no one's business to divert attention from their own misery and to blaspheme about the grievances of others.
One should not tell authorities or bosses that. Of course, it depends on what you do. If one is a craftsman, the boss will hardly be interested, unless one constantly asks for advances, if one is a cashier at the bank, one is possibly on the way out.
The bank advisor doesn't give a shit, they are too curious anyway. But the crucial point is whether you have enough money. If you spend your disposable income on gambling, that's your choice, but if you're in the red or even have an earmarked loan, you should be careful, because banks like to call in loans early.
I was once called by a snoopy old lady from the fun bank and wanted to push me into saying that I was gambling after all and whether I was aware that this was bad for my credit rating. I denied all the accusations and did not respond. The next day I made an appointment with the branch manager and complained. He (original sound) called the woman in "to explain to her how to do her job" and told me that I could dispose of my money as I wished.
One year later larger amounts on the account came in and the account balance was constantly five-digit and it called nevertheless actually the same woman with me completely slimy whether I would not be interested then to invest money and a consulting date to notice. It was a great pleasure to serve her a thank you, but no thank you and certainly not with you.
Long story short, personally I think it's smarter when gambling online to use payment methods where the banks can't seamlessly check what you're doing e.g. PP card at foreign bank, eWallet, PSC etc. I had a run at VIKS via a credit card at a German bank, every day for 8 days I deposited up to 1-2K per day but got 1-4K credit. So I called the bank every two days and had my excess balance, because I was in the plus on the card account due to the credits, transferred to my checking account. After the said 8 days, the pigs have imposed a block on me (for my safety) and at Viks I could then no longer deposit. That was it with the run. Is the same if you gamble a lot in the Spielo or casino and regularly Deposit cash at the machine or counter. Does not have to be much, there are automatic filters that monitor that, you come over certain sums, they want an explanation. I think gambling is everyone's private hobby. The financial should be handled discreetly and there are ways. You shouldn't tell anyone about it, because it's no secret how devious the environment is. If you have serious problems from gambling, you can talk to a Debt counselor, lawyer or psychologist, but otherwise I would not do that, otherwise you have a stamp away.

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Anonym

Former Member

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

25th Oct. 2017, at 12:56 am CEST#8

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I would also like to comment on this here, I see it similarly to my predecessor. It is nobody's business what you do with your money and whether you are addicted to gambling. If someone knows too much about you, it is often negative, especially at work or in the family I avoid to tell. I can also share an experience with the banks, my bank regularly blocked my credit card and informed me by mail that I should call their security department. I usually pay in 250€ increments so was often at 1000€ end. Even where I had a 3000€ credit on the credit card, the card was blocked. Meanwhile, I canceled the card, I often heard misunderstanding when I reported to the security department that this is intentional gambling and the card can be unblocked again.

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Anonym

Former Member

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

25th Oct. 2017, at 09:02 am CEST#9

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Just to make that clearer: Of course, I don't push it on anyone that I'm a gambling addict without being asked. It would also be strange to go to a bakery and tell the baker that you are a gambling addict without him asking. :- ) But if there are questions about it, deal with it as with everything else openly and honestly

If then because of this someone would behave negatively or turn away I would be rather grateful for this natural selection.

With me, since the open and honest dealings of recent years, some things have improved significantly.

But the most important thing is still the open and honest approach to yourself, especially when it comes to gambling. 90% of the players even lie to themselves in the bag, there it is then of course not possible to be open and honest with others.

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Anonym

Former Member

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

25th Oct. 2017, at 12:56 pm CEST#10

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Liked this post: Anonym

TomWegas wrote on 25.10.2017 at 09:02: Just to make it clearer: I push it of course also no one unsolicited on the eye that I am addicted to gambling. It would also be strange to go to a bakery and tell the baker that you are a gambling addict without him asking. :- )

Wait a minute. You don't go to the baker and say: " Good day. I would like to have 3 rolls and I am a gambling addict"?

How can you live like that?

If I didn't say that to the mailman's face every day, I wouldn't dare leave the house

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Coping, therapiers, tips... : Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

Shame for gambling addiction: How do you deal with this shame?

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