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Gambling addiction in general: my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

Topic created on 20th Nov. 2017 | Page: 1 of 5 | Answers: 40 | Views: 49,601
SonGoten
Visitor

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 12:28 am CET#1
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Hello all,
yes, where do I start...I am highly addicted to gambling and I am about to end my life.
I would like to tell you this story, just because it has to come out how I feel. And I think, among like-minded gamblers, you might be able to understand or confirm the whole thing a bit.

It all started when a buddy of mine (who I could strangle today) asked me if I wanted to go to a game store and play some games. I had just turned 18 at that time. Was then in my training and has about 650 euros a month. Have also initially only played on 10ct and have me about 5 euros wins still really happy. If it had remained so..each of you knows, it does not remain with small stakes. You want more..always more to satisfy his addiction.

In the beginning we went in together..at some point it started that I went in alone and also started to play higher. Actually only Merkur, the Novokisten have me hardly interested. My "breakthrough" or rather the entry into my gambling career was a full screens on 30cent at Treasure Hunt. 300Euro..I could not believe my luck. Since that win, I've been in there every day right after training..and even stayed until closing most of the time.
But I only ever gambled what I could afford. At that time I still had a certain sense for money. I paid the rent on time, had enough money for food, clothes, bus tickets etc.. And I also stopped when I reached a certain amount of loss.

Later, when I finished my education, I started to work. And suddenly I had really good money. After deduction of all costs I had a good 1000 left in the month. And where did the 1000Euro end up ? Correct, in the vending machine. Because at that time I didn't just play on 20,30ct, but higher..80ct, 1Euro and so on.
But it kept within limits, I didn't get into Debt or spend more than I could. I also financed a car for 300Euro per month. A nice Audi, my pride and joy at the time. That went, I had no entries in the Schufa and had the credit rating for it. I also got a credit card at that time from my bank with a 3000Euro Verfügungsrahmen.
In the course of time, however, the gambling has unfortunately developed into a problem. I still had a fixed income, but I had to attack my overdraft facility on the 10th of the month in order to be able to buy the necessary things in life. And that's when the downward spiral began. I withdrew more and more money in shorter and shorter intervals and at some point it was so that the incoming wages did not even bring the account to 0. The next few months I was only in the Dispo on the road, was always in the minus. What the bank but apparently not bothered, because a regular money was there.
At some point, I reached the point where I could no longer withdraw...I was at the limit...what did I do, idiot? Have things booked back...rent, car payments, etc..

Any normal person would throw their hands up in horror when I say I charged back the rent. But as an addicted gambler, you just ignore that
That's when all this shit started. I got into more and more debt, got further and further behind with all my payments. Only so that I could go to my Spielo in the evening, drink my coffee and gamble.
When it came to the point that my landlord almost kicked me out of the apartment and the bank where I had financed the Audi, threatened to pick up the car again, I started in desperation to become criminal.
I auctioned things on Ebay that I didn't have. I stole jewelry to make money out of it. Got into debt with all kinds of people. I took out loans, bought things, sold them and didn't pay the bills.
It went so far that I could no longer work because of depression. I took a sick leave in the beginning. Later I was so depressed that I simply stopped working. Of course, at some point the dismissal came. Mountains of reminders and collection letters lay in my living room, unopened. I didn't want to open them because I knew what was in them anyway.
Didn't leave my apartment anymore, started drinking...more and more to be able to sleep at night at all. I don't open the door anymore, I don't use the phone. Have various ads for fraud on the neck.Have me a lawyer sought, who of course also wants money. Understandably. My car was also already picked up because I have not paid the installments for months.

I'm sitting here now in an apartment where I have to get out the next day, have no car and no job, easy to the 50,000 debts (credit cards, banks, lawyer, private individuals, etc.) and am alreadywieder to get drunk so that I tonight at all close one eye.


I'm 27 now and I'm really thinking about putting an end to my life. In the meantime I don't even have health insurance. I don't know how I'm going to get through tomorrow
If a miracle does not happen now, I see no other way out.

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Anonym

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 01:36 am CET#2
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Hey that sounds really bad but it's no reason to take your life! Sure 50,000 is a lot of wood but honestly I have more than 3 times that and do not come to mind. Ok with me it did not come through the gimmick / have nen house and nen car ... but had I never played would be all paid!

Please seek help in a psychological acute counseling - if you are seriously thinking about taking your life please pick up the phone and call 112 - they should get you and bring you to an acute clinic. Alcohol only makes things worse! Believe me!

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Anonym

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 01:42 am CET#3
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This is not an easy step - but get up and do it. The step costs you nothing - possibly you can press later your debts with a settlement or self-insolvency to 1/5! Then everything looks different again. You don't have health Insurance? Is not actually ... one becomes but normal from the employment office from or not? Guys there are enough people out there who can help you! Just let it happen!

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redriver67
Expert

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 12:10 pm CET#4
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Hello SonGoten, I can only agree with Aka. Sure, it's all shit right now, because everything is collapsing. But there are 100000 others who do not go differently. That is why it is an addiction and recognized. There are places like Caritas, Debt counseling, etc. that will certainly help you in this hopeless situation. You just have to take this path quickly and let it happen. Throwing your life away because of something like this makes no sense!

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Anonym

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 12:18 pm CET#5
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Hello Songoten..

First of all welcome here and look, the first step you have already made....

Your situation is really crap..no question...but you can get out of it. Do you really want to end your life now at 27?

I have found my way out of an addiction myself. I was/am an alcoholic and have been sober for 6 years now. It's been a long shitty road and I still made it.

I had the same thoughts as you at that time and fortunately turned to the right places. I am glad that I did not end my life back then. I would have missed many beautiful moments.

Contact an addiction counseling center, make it clear how urgent it is for you. Contact a Debt counseling center (a state-run one) and if you get out of hand with the alcohol, then have your family doctor admit you to a clinic, they also have social workers who can help you with the other things

If you have questions, ask here...You can do it and do not give up!

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strike1
Visitor

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 12:34 pm CET#6
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Thank you for your contribution SonGoten.

To write this down shows that you are strong and must not give up...had already lost my apartment through addiction and it comes back better believe me!
Seek you as soon as possible help-psychological that makes neh menge out and do with nehm friend what off just do not stay alone.

And here you also have a few friends who listen to you and understand you until you feel better again

Wish you a nice day.

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Daniel
Elite

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 03:23 pm CET#7
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@SonGoten I was in my life also already at the limit and I would have regretted it in retrospect to commit suicide. I was just like you on the verge of homelessness, lost my job and everything, Hartz 4 recipient, later on Auftocker for almost 2 years. In the meantime I am self-employed, have a great girlfriend and live in Malta. Actually, at that time I had almost resigned myself to the fact that I will lead an "Assi life" and thoughts of suicide I had already but not as awesome as you. Life can change for the better within a few years or even months - no matter how shitty it is at the moment.

The problem is that you don't see that right now. It's a kind of reality distortion, but you perceive it as absolute reality. You think right now that everyone else is too stupid to realize that suicide is the only true way out. You are ashamed to go out of the house. You're ashamed of your gambling addiction. That's how it was for me. For me, it wasn't Gambling addiction (but for me, depression triggered the gambling addiction). I had delusions of being a failure. I even had phases where I didn't dare to leave the house because I thought that others were constantly watching me and could mentally cause me to feel even worse. Later, shame was added due to the gambling addiction.

It was incredibly hard for me to go to a psychiatrist or seek help because I thought people would laugh at me there or think badly of me. I was also afraid of derogatory reactions. In the end it was a hard step and in retrospect it was not as bad as I thought it would be - rather the opposite. The following two years were not as easy but not as hard as I imagined.

First of all, please go to the nearest addiction counseling center or, as Aka told you, call 112 if you can't do it on your own! These are trained and educated people and they understand the problem with gambling addiction. Nobody will think you are stupid. There is no reason to be ashamed! There are professors, successful entrepreneurs who went bankrupt and took dozens of employees with them. There are more serious cases than you and the people who work there know worse cases. You don't see these people in gambling houses, but in casinos. I have seen people there who have gambled away what you owe in 2-3 days.

I don't know the details, but nowadays there are tricks to reduce the insolvency procedure to 1.5 years via insolvency in England or Ireland. But that is not important now. You can't think properly at the moment anyway. What is important at the moment is that you get well again in the next few months, beat the gambling addiction and then make a plan for a new start with a clear head.

Suicide is really the wrong and stupidest solution in your case. This is maybe a solution when you are 75 years old and have terminal cancer but not at 27 because of 10.000€, 50.000€, 100.000€ or 20 million Euro debts. That is in the end only money. Worthless paper, which will most likely lose its value completely in the next 10 years due to inflation. Then you pay off the 50.000€ with one day of work, if you are not completely Debt free again in 2 years by an England or Ireland insolvency.

Believe me, there is a solution for such problems. You are young and physically healthy. That is the most important thing. You just have to make sure that from now on, with the support of professional people, you get your gambling addiction and depression under control and also get psychologically healthy again.

As I said, please go immediately to the nearest addiction counseling center or call there. If it doesn't work at all, call 112 and tell them what's going on inside you.

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Anonym

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

20th Nov. 2017, at 03:35 pm CET#8
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And above all - please give here a "sign of life"...

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J****r

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

21st Nov. 2017, at 04:32 am CET#9
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I would like I would be again 27 throw away the life so a nonsense. Others buy a car for 40000 and they have to pay it off just like you if you take 40,000 for what the money is spent in the end it is but shit. What I want to say is don't let it get you down and even if it's hard and I know people always say do this do that that will help you blah but it's a mental addiction and addiction has to click in your head and every setback of trying to get off it is a step forward even if that sounds paradoxical.

LG Joker


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c****7

my gambling addiction and suicidal thoughts.

21st Nov. 2017, at 10:36 pm CET#10
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I've been through something like you hundreds of times. It really sucks, no question. When I see my annual loss balance, which is close to 100,000 EUR, I also have such thoughts, but in the end I don't want to die, it goes on, even if with much less cash in the cross than before.

1) Take a breather, maybe a beer (one not ten)

2) Take a sheet of paper and analyze your situation rationally speak, what is good, what is bad, debts, problems, etc..

3) If your problems are purely financial and you are not on the verge of jail for acquisitive crime or have debts to the mafia, everything is solvable. Seek a Debt counselor. I already had half a million debts and fought my way out. It can be done. Tough, but doable.

3a) If your problems are just gambling, you should seriously think about getting out. Seek help. Caritas, Blue Cross, etc. Get blocked everywhere. Go to a debt counselor. Talk to your family.

3b) If the problems are more diverse, you should seek further help.

4) Do not make rash stories, try to get distance. When I lose fat again, I go out, walk a bit, collect myself. Distract. Pain subsides, takes a while, but every day it gets better.

All the best and remember where you can be in 10 years. You can leave everything behind and be on top. Happy, whatever that means for you.

By the way, I haven't gambled for a month because I've lost so much lately and I'm fine, I don't miss it. There is also a life without gambling, right now you have tunnel vision but every day it gets better.

In this sense. Be strong, you can do it.

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