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Gambling addiction in general: I don't know any more either... (Page 3)

Topic created on 21st Jul. 2023 | Page: 3 of 7 | Answers: 99 | Views: 13,230
refucs
Expert

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 03:18 pm CEST#31
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/24/2023 at 3:13 pm: One more question, what do you think of the Debt counseling agencies where there is a law firm behind it? They offer help quickly and take care of everything. I would have to pay in my case 1100-1300 euros and could pay that off in 6 monthly installments. The problem here is that only a direct settlement can be made. If the creditors reject this, I still have to pay off the sum and continue to have the debt on the cheek.


The free debt counseling services in my town are very difficult. Few staff, long time for the first appointment.

And the creditors are breathing down my neck 😭

Let the creditors just sit on your neck, in the worst case you give a statement of assets, then they can you first nothing depending on how your financial / professional situation looks, especially if you also clearly so communicated to the. The important thing is that you yourself become "healthy" and happy, and at the same time, of course, work off the debts. But to be guided by pressure is not a good advisor. But maybe others have better suggestions.

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gamble1
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I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 04:26 pm CEST#32
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/21/2023 at 16:42: Hi guys,

i have also had an addiction problem for a long time. For me the addiction of gambling is only in combination with cocaine. Sober, I'm not interested in all this... And there is the fatal. If I ever used again, I deposited directly and spanked everything that goes. Including all debits go back.

I have 4 therapies behind me. So far, there was only one therapy that combined drugs and gambling.

I have because of the history already an insolvency behind me which went from 2017-2022. Last year I got the residual Debt discharge.

Currently it looks like this with the debts:

Private individuals: 5300 euros
Collection: 910,44 Euro
Debts to the previous employer: 5275
Banks/short credit: 2666 Euro

Privately I pay off 100 Euro per month at a good friend.
Since I became unemployed at the end of June, I got citizen's allowance transferred a few days ago. I have of course in a night and fog action verhauen.

That means I can't pay the rent next month. A new insolvency is also not possible because of the block. I have now contacted zich debt counseling. They would help me. But they also want money. As a rule, up to 1000 euros. It is possible to pay in installments, but the chances of success are uncertain. Since I can no longer get into insolvency, there is only the possibility of a settlement.

And now imagine that only one creditor says no. Then everything was for nothing and I still have to pay the installments for the debtor counseling.

I have already put my car and PC on classifieds/mobile. So far no message.

I go from the 25.7 the 3 weeks in a rehab. Since I am open with the subject and have already had 1000 relapse, the relationship between my mother and me is strained. She can't take it all anymore. And I can understand all this.

You know, as soon as I get close to a nose, fire is free. I don't think about anything or anybody anymore. Totally in the tunnel. I know all my problems. I know skills etc.pp. Still I don't do it in those situations.

So in a nutshell:

I currently have 0 euros available. All direct debits that went back want their money. Next month Cashper and Ferratum will try to debit. Electricity, Insurance, the installment to my friend - everything does not go off.

I have already written to the banks that I am not able to pay the installments.

Still, I can't clear my head when I know that everyone wants their money. And I need to have my head clear during the detox to be able to participate.


Maybe you have some ideas/tips/suggestions.

I was thinking of writing off my Citizen's Allowance social advisor and telling him the whole thing. Maybe at least the rent can be shot ahead and in the future then directly on the account of the landlord to land.
Incidentally, the social welfare office also knows everything. I had to write in whether I have debts and whether I have diseases. And the last 3 monthly bank statements show or present.

My panic is only that the payments will be stopped.

I have only the fear that


Topic rent you have in DE little worry the instructions to the Jobcenter say about it:

"Insofar as citizen's allowance is provided for the need for housing and heating, debts can also be taken over, insofar as this is justified to secure housing or to remedy a comparable emergency. They should be taken over if this is justified and necessary and otherwise homelessness threatens to occur. Assets in accordance with Section 12 (2) Sentence 1 and (4) Sentence 1 shall be given priority. Cash benefits shall be provided as loans."


A message to your contact person is not sufficient here, however, you have to make an extra application, which is sufficient informally in the mailbox

You can do the same for electricity and heating costs

All in all, the JC but have leeway and if your landlord has not yet reminded it can also be rejected

They will most likely help you because currently you are not able to work and even if this sounds stupid now for the JC quite useless because you can not be placed as long as you are dependent and the top priority will be to consolidate you so that you can soon work again

A new insolvency would bring you anyway nothing because who continues to make debts although he already knew about the bankruptcy does not get a discharge of residual debt because this is interpreted as a deliberate waste of assets

Nevertheless, the sums mentioned are not the world but you should first of all look for you no longer to cloud the head and then tackle the debt thing for a consultation pays in DE no one 1000 € you always have the option to turn to organizations such as Caritas

I wish you all the best you can do this

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LiamSongbird
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I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 04:36 pm CEST#33
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gamble1 wrote on 07/24/2023 at 4:26 pm:

Topic rent you have in DE little worry the instructions to the Jobcenter say about it :

"Provided that Bürgergeld is provided for the need for housing and heating, debts can also be taken over, as far as this is justified to secure housing or to remedy a comparable hardship. They should be taken over if this is justified and necessary and otherwise homelessness threatens to occur. Assets in accordance with Section 12 (2) Sentence 1 and (4) Sentence 1 shall be given priority. Cash benefits shall be provided as loans."


A message to your contact person is not sufficient here, however, you have to make an extra application, which is sufficient informally in the mailbox

You can do the same for electricity and heating costs

All in all, the JC but have leeway and if your landlord has not yet reminded it can also be rejected

They will most likely help you because currently you are not able to work and even if this sounds stupid now for the JC quite useless because you can not be placed as long as you are dependent and the top priority will be to consolidate you so that you can soon work again

A new insolvency would bring you anyway nothing because who continues to make debts although he already knew about the bankruptcy does not get a discharge of residual Debt because this is interpreted as a deliberate waste of assets

Nevertheless, the sums mentioned are not the world but you should first of all look for you no longer to cloud the head and then tackle the debt thing for a consultation pays in DE no one 1000 € you always have the option to turn to organizations such as Caritas

I wish you all the best you can do this

Thank you for the answers. I have this morning my consultant from the JC the whole emailed, quote:


Dear Mr. X,

i am contacting you because I unfortunately had a relapse last weekend. Due to my addiction, I gambled away the social benefit (see attachment).

Now I have the problem that the rent for the next month can not come off. And the even bigger problem is that my fixed costs can not be paid.

We (my mother&her boyfriend) have now taken steps even before starting detox. I can no longer access my online banking and ergo my debit card has been revoked.

Now I googled a little and read that there is a kind of loan from the social welfare office for such or similar "cases". Now I would be interested of course if you could apply this in my case.

Also, it would be desirable that the rent is transferred directly to the account of the landlord, and no longer on my (if this would go).

I am really sorry, and I wish I could undo everything.
That is why I am now seeking professional help again.

I would be very grateful for any information.

With kind regards "


So far no answer. I will see if what comes. And ok then I will first no overpriced lawyer debt counseling hire.

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Tanteju86
Visitor

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 07:12 pm CEST#34
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/22/2023 at 12:51 pm: Thanks for your great responses.

Especially @Tanteju86.

I'm guessing the 86 is your birth year? Then we are not far apart. Am 87 year of construction. Would have liked to write privately with you again, but due to my low score I can not write to you.

Otherwise, if you want to email me, the address is: Edit by Andre: Personal data removed

Yes we have already tried a lot with me. But it will probably also come down to that for a supervisor and more control.

I've been through a lot because of this shit too. 4 suicide attempts etc. But I don't feel like leaving my loved ones behind. I would make them suffer so much more than they already do. And I would be a coward.




Hi Liam,

yes, 86 is my year of birth. Unfortunately your email address has been removed. Funny thing is, I actually specialize in the psychiatric field professionally, but haven't dealt with addiction much except for my last job in Berlin. More like chronically mentally ill with dual diagnoses (borderline, schizophrenia, depression, personality disorders of other types, etc.). For others, I always have a super plan and have been very solution-oriented (even according to feedback from those I've cared for) and have helped them move forward. All that knowledge is of no use when it comes to yourself. I can only advise you to limit yourself as much as possible. I think with you, the addiction to K is also at the forefront (which then brings everything else with it) and detox/withdrawal/rehab takes time. You don't seem to have fallen on your head, unfortunately, and you certainly have skills that allow you to keep finding a loophole (excuses, talking down, borrowing money, explanations, stories). I know that. You're way ahead of me, though, because you not only state the issue clearly for yourself, but are so open about it (see last post). You are literally asking to be helped to protect yourself from yourself. But you are also often not taken seriously.... Stay tuned and keep me posted. Maybe you are also an orientation for me to emulate you?

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Tanteju86
Visitor

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 07:25 pm CEST#35
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SlottiKarotti wrote on 22.07.2023 at 15:26:

Thank you for the kind words!


You did write in your post:

"but this addiction is just my absolute weakness and incompetence. It is my escape from reality, in which I can't even stand two days sober. I don't know what to do with myself on my own for 10 minutes. I have also done therapies, but no one and nothing can fill my inner emptiness in the long run. I am happy about things selectively, but in the long run I feel nothing. Only when I consume.

In the meantime I have come to terms with the fact that I will die "young". And hopefully after that I'll get the chance to live again and do everything differently."



To a certain extent it may be weakness, but addiction also has something to do with predisposition. Some people have these gene variants in their body that make them susceptible to addiction, and some don't. And that you write that you can't do anything with yourself for 10 minutes makes me really sad. I can't really imagine how that feels either.

Is that kind of feeling that you are trapped in your body and just want to bang your head against the wall. Permanent negative whirlpool of thoughts?

As far as death goes, I think the same way you do. And that probably sounds a little harsh, but I think we're here right now to get it right in this life. I've been on the verge of suicide many times too, but the words of suicides who have survived it, among others, keep me from it. Saw a documentary once about the jumpers from the Golden Gate Bridge. There are some who survived the fall unscathed and were rescued. They all said through the bank:

"The moment I jumped, I knew instantly that it was 100% wrong, there can be nothing more wrong than that"

From the feeling I have there directly thought that they hit the bull's eye with this assessment. According to their statement, these people would not even dream of taking their own lives. I could go on and on, but it's a bit weird to write about this topic in public. I would have you also rather written by PM everything, but that is not possible iwie.

All the best to you too, of course, and please stay with us, Tanteju!

"To a certain extent it may be weakness, but addiction also has something to do with disposition. Some people have these gene variants in their body that make them susceptible to addiction, and some don't. And that you write that you can't do anything with yourself for 10 minutes makes me really sad. I can't really imagine how that feels either.

Is that kind of feeling that you are trapped in your body and just want to bang your head against the wall. Permanent negative thought vortex?"


You're absolutely right, it's probably predisposition. My father is highly addicted to alcohol, going through the generations of my family I have depressed and pill addicted relatives. The "gene variants" are probably just there, but my siblings get their lives (with similar genes) better. Brother and sister both have children, but both also have clear addictive tendencies. The only difference is that they are both not as self-destructive. My sister buys and buys and buys. But she and her husband also earn really well, and they're always lucky (bought house cheap, fixed it up themselves, resold it for 3 times as much thanks to rising prices). My brother (thanks to his kids and wife) channels his addiction differently. He smokes Pot and drinks, but is good at cutting back. I can too, if I have a valid reason (for example, an ex-girlfriend with a toddler for whom I was there in a motherly way). If there is no "outside", I am immediately in "destruction mode" - coke, booze, gambling.

"Is that kind of feeling that you're trapped in your body and just want to bang your head against the wall. Permanent negative thought vortex?"
Yes and no. It's a lot of self-doubt, especially because for a while I was very "successful" making music and being in the spotlight. That gave me a lot, I had to numb and shoot away little, but it was also a dishonest attention. The house of cards quickly collapsed and I realized that I have been taking care of other people for as long as I can remember (my mother since I was 5 or 6 to protect her from rape and attacks by my father) and I have dealt with myself very little. When I knew this, everything was empty and silent. Everything I thought I was I was not and to this day (after more than 10 years) I still have not found myself. I'm not stupid (I think), I graduated from high school and I finished medical school as the best in the country. But I have been rejecting myself deep inside since I was a child. I can't describe it any other way.

I have tried several times to get help. 3 out of 4 therapists have rejected me with the reason that I am too exhausting...

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 07:40 pm CEST#36
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Auntju86 wrote on 07/24/2023 at 19:12:

Hi Liam,

yes, 86 is my birth year. Unfortunately your email address has been removed. Funny thing is, I actually specialize in the psychiatric field professionally, but haven't dealt with addiction much except for my last job in Berlin. More like chronically mentally ill with dual diagnoses (borderline, schizophrenia, depression, personality disorders of other types, etc.). For others, I always have a super plan and have been very solution-oriented (even according to feedback from those I've cared for) and have helped them move forward. All that knowledge is of no use when it comes to yourself. I can only advise you to limit yourself as much as possible. I think with you, the addiction to K is also at the forefront (which then brings everything else with it) and detox/withdrawal/rehab takes time. You don't seem to have fallen on your head, unfortunately, and you certainly have skills that allow you to keep finding a loophole (excuses, talking down, borrowing money, explanations, stories). I know that. You're way ahead of me, though, because you not only state the issue clearly for yourself, but are so open about it (see last post). You are literally asking to be helped to protect yourself from yourself. But you are also often not taken seriously.... Stay tuned and keep me posted. Maybe you will be an orientation for me to emulate you?

Hey, yes I was not allowed to publish my email here. I too like you have additionally diagnosed borderline personality disorder as well as depression, anxiety etc. We are very similar there.


Yes you are right. I just need to get away from the K. Then the rest is done. I think that the loss of control of the online banking and the withdrawal of the EC card brings a lot. I will also make an appointment with the bank. Because it must be possible somehow, that I find there simply no more loopholes.

Thank you also again for your kind statements. I wish you also in any way to be able to deal with it openly (except in the forum )

Edit: your childhood or what you have experienced is terrible. But also for you there must be solutions. Do not give up!

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LiamSongbird
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I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 07:55 pm CEST#37
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Sorry I read wrong. Ok you have worked with people who had the diagnoses together ok. Then I would have been one of those

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Tanteju86
Visitor

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 07:57 pm CEST#38
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/24/2023 at 19:40:
Hey, yes I was not allowed to post my email here. I too like you have additionally diagnosed borderline personality disorder as well as depression, anxiety, etc. We are very similar there.


Yes you are right. I just need to get away from the K. Then the rest is done. I think that the loss of control from online banking as well as swiping the EC card brings a lot. I will also make an appointment with the bank. Because it must be possible somehow, that I find there simply no more loopholes.

Thank you also again for your kind statements. I wish you also in any way to be able to deal with it openly (except in the forum )

Edit: your childhood or what you have experienced is terrible. But also for you there must be solutions. Don't give up!!!

You put a lot of energy on K to gamble somehow, but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Take all protective measures as you already describe. I entered my online banking PIN wrong 3 times in 2022 and sober I was so uncomfortable calling the savings bank (on K I was only ever out of hours) that I didn't play for almost 6 months. I then focused the "tunnel" on something else and that worked. However, I then openly and honestly said during the phone call, where I had my online banking unlocked again, that I play online...help was not offered to me, though. I mean, of course they earn from the fact that I go almost every month on the 2nd again 1k euros in the Dispo (and how much % costs that again?)!


You are not alone. You are not the stupidest and only person in the world. You can make it and you will make it. Get rid of this f**king drug and free yourself from this vortex that's attached to it. I say this to you and to myself. I have seen that it is possible. That you can fill your life with other things...

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LiamSongbird
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I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 08:31 pm CEST#39
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Auntju86 wrote on 07/24/2023 at 19:57:

You expend a lot of energy on K to gamble somehow, but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Take all the protective measures as you already describe. I once entered my online banking PIN incorrectly 3 times in 2022 and sober I was so uncomfortable calling the savings bank (on K I was only ever out of hours) that I didn't play for almost 6 months. I then focused the "tunnel" on something else and that worked. However, I then openly and honestly said during the phone call, where I had my online banking unlocked again, that I play online...help was not offered to me, though. I mean, of course they earn from the fact that I go almost every month on the 2nd again 1k euros in the Dispo (and how much % costs that again?)!


You are not alone. You are not the stupidest and only person in the world. You can make it and you will make it. Get rid of this f**king drug and free yourself from this vortex that's attached to it. I say this to you and to myself. I have seen that it is possible. That you can fill your life with other things...


But then I tried to Deposit my remaining cash at a savings bank. Then I drove full speed on K through the city and took another pillar on the right. Problem was that from 3 o'clock at night no bank was open where I could deposit what. Then I used the last option and Paysafecarden over 0900 numbers called. For 10 Euro card 40 Euro. Until I was at some point at 400-500 Euro phone bill. Believe me, I am very resourceful and find every possibility. But when everything was over, was the crash. And then it was only when and how suicide.

It is already violent how much one goes off on the stuff. I'm just glad never to have become a criminal. Robberies, theft, etc. was never an issue.


Lots of love for you ♥️♥️♥️

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Tanteju86
Visitor

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 09:14 pm CEST#40
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/24/2023 at 8:31 PM:

But I then tried to Deposit my remaining cash at a savings bank. Am then full pulse on K through the city and have still taken a pillar right. Problem was that from 3 o'clock at night no bank was open where I could deposit what. Then I used the last option and Paysafecarden over 0900 numbers called. For 10 Euro card 40 Euro. Until I was at some point at 400-500 Euro phone bill. Believe me, I am very resourceful and find every possibility. But when everything was over, was the crash. And then it was only when and how suicide.

It is already violent how much one goes off on the stuff. I'm just glad never to have become a criminal. Robberies, theft, etc. was never an issue.


Lots of love for you ♥️♥️♥️

I can so relate to all this.... I walked for nights with cash alone as a woman through Berlin from Späti to Späti to buy Paysafe cards because my account was closed. When everything was gone, I rode my scooter through every red light and hoped that someone would run me over. I sold my last shirt (all valuables, then my Vespa as the last thing) and stayed with friends to rent out my apartment in Berlin as an Airbnb, gambled away everything on K that came along.


Also had a suicide attempt with insulin, but was only 16 hours away stepped in the woods and was found. But was always able to hide that I was using and then gambling despite all the drama. What a waste of energy....

Honestly, I have often thought about criminal methods to get money, but I firmly believe that I will be caught immediately 😅

It's good to "talk" to someone who can relate to what you've experienced. With distance and sober you just feel stupid and so ashamed...

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refucs
Expert

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 09:23 pm CEST#41
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Therefore, do not fool yourself with online banking / EC card.... if you want to gamble, you always have options, even without access to the bank account...

It is a good step, but the most important thing is the head. You have to want it yourself and not weaken after 1 day, 1 week, 1 month....

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 09:40 pm CEST#42
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Auntju86 wrote on 07/24/2023 at 9:14 pm:

I can so relate to all this.... Walked for nights with cash alone as a woman through Berlin from Späti to Späti to buy Paysafe cards because my account was closed. When everything was gone, I rode my scooter through every red light and hoped that someone would run me over. I sold my last shirt (all valuables, then my Vespa as the last thing) and stayed with friends to rent out my apartment in Berlin as an Airbnb, gambled away everything on K that came along.


Also had a suicide attempt with insulin, but was only 16 hours away stepped in the woods and was found. But was always able to hide that I was using and then gambling despite all the drama. What a waste of energy....

Honestly, I have often thought about criminal methods to get money, but I firmly believe that I will be caught immediately 😅

It's good to "talk" to someone who can relate to what you've experienced. With distance and sober you just feel stupid and so ashamed...

It's crazy what parallels we have! And I thought my stories were already violent enough. But wow you also have a lot on it 😄

Should not sound funny but rather ironic.
We should actually get to know each other

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 09:42 pm CEST#43
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refucs wrote on 24.07.2023 at 21:23: Therefore do not fool yourself with online banking / EC card.... if you want to gamble, you always have options, even without access to the bank account...

It's a good step, but the most important thing is the head. You have to want it yourself and not become weak after 1 day, 1 week, 1 month....

You are absolutely right. I also think it sucks what banks are doing everything with them. Sure they want to earn, but if they recognize that someone is addicted to gambling, should be intervened.

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Tanteju86
Visitor

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 09:51 pm CEST#44
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/24/2023 at 21:42:

You're absolutely right about that too. I also think it sucks what banks are doing to themselves. Sure they want to earn, but if they recognize that someone is addicted to gambling, should be intervened.

Actually, you should not be surprised, but honestly...I call the savings bank and tell them that I have a problem with Online Casinos and now sit on the dry. It feels like 5 minutes later they grant me a loan of 5,000€ for 14%, which I pay off until today. That's not really ok, is it?

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Anonym

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 10:09 pm CEST#45
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Auntju86 wrote on 07/24/2023 at 19:25:

I have tried several times to get help. i have been turned down by 3 out of 4 therapists on the grounds that I am too exhausting...

I was in psychotherapy for several years, and had the same feeling there, that the therapist finds me too exhausting.


I originally went there for depression and panic attacks. When I told her about gambling and Tilidin/Benzos etc., she didn't want to know anything about it. When I told about my worldview, it was often said without justification that it just wasn't true, which then always caused cognitive dissonance in me. I think for some therapists this complete package that you come in with is just too much. But for me, it's all connected.

Do you want to say what you did as a musician? And why was that dishonest attention that you got from that?

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