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Gambling addiction in general: I don't know any more either... (Page 2)

Topic created on 21st Jul. 2023 | Page: 2 of 7 | Answers: 99 | Views: 12,426
Tanteju86

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 03:43 am CEST#16
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/21/2023 at 7:38 pm: Thanks for your replies.

@Garfield: Yes there are free Debt counseling services. The problem in my city is the appointment. They don't have anything available until September and work relatively slow. And I'm afraid by then there will be quite a bit going on.

And yes @Knochen the have it actually completely transferred not (AfA but the Social Welfare Office) including 1063 euros additional costs back payment. But fortunately I have previously transferred to the landlord.

I will also go back to therapy/rehab after the detox.

We have also tried everything possible with online banking data change or who else has only got access to it. The bad thing is that I have always managed to change the data. And that only with my EC card number and my personal data. As a therapist once said: "Players always find loopholes".

And it's true.

I would also immediately go back to the job market. My problem is that I then become stressed/overstrained/tension rises to such an extent that I fall off the wagon again. And this game has been going on for 11 years now.

But as I said, the plan is during detox to see where I can go afterwards. The whole thing also in consultation with my addiction counselor, who knows me for years and accordingly writes the social report for the clinic / rehab.

And yes @bones you are right about a lot. I am indeed probably a junkie and maybe I will never make it.

But hope dies last.


What I just thought of, maybe after detox and therapy a move to an assisted living facility where you can get long term help will help you. They could do daily drug screenings and give you your money. Maybe that would help you with structure and pressure...

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Tanteju86

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 03:46 am CEST#17
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SlottiKarotti wrote on 22.07.2023 at 02:38: What talents/strengths do you have? What were/were you praised for by those around you?

Try to focus on that and think about what you might be throwing away or wasting.
Addiction often has something to do with escape. What are you fleeing from? Reality, parts of you that you don't like, the past/future?
When you figure that out, you know what you can work on.

Imagine that you are really totally clean since a few years. How proud can you be of yourself?
Paint yourself this positive picture and let it be your guide for the future.

Maybe a complete change of scenery will help you. Get out of your familiar environment and work on a volunteer project, go to a silent monastery for a week, get completely calm inside and be free from everyday stress. That's what people who consume coke miss the most.

Or at least start meditating for 10 minutes every day, even if it doesn't work right the first time. This is completely normal. If you have thoughts running through your head all the time, imagine the following:
You are standing under a waterfall, and the thoughts are the drops of water that are raining down on you. Just take a step to the side, you don't have to stand there.

@rocco Smoking Pot is definitely a much lesser evil, but still an addiction shift. I would most likely recommend only CBD then, because it's not a mind-altering substance, but rather subtly sedating.

And please don't label yourself as a junkie, Liam. You are a person with an addiction disorder, which in this completely crazy world is no great shame at all, to me anyway.

"It is not a sign of mental health to be well adjusted to a deeply sick society."

All the best to you!

Your ideas and help are so super. The way you approach him and his problem is so appreciative and empathetic... Great!

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 12:51 pm CEST#18
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Thanks so much for your great responses.

Especially @Tanteju86.

I'm guessing the 86 is your birth year? Then we are not far apart. Am 87 year of construction. Would have liked to write privately with you again, but due to my low score I can not write to you.

Otherwise, if you want to email me, the address is: Edit by Andre: Personal data removed

Yes we have already tried a lot with me. But it will probably also come down to that for a supervisor and more control.

I've been through a lot because of this shit too. 4 suicide attempts etc. But I don't feel like leaving my loved ones behind. I would make them suffer so much more than they already do. And I would be a coward.



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Begbie
Elite

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 12:56 pm CEST#19
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/21/2023 at 16:42: Hi guys,

i have also had an addiction problem for a long time. For me the addiction of gambling is only in combination with cocaine. Sober, I'm not interested in all this... And there is the fatal. If I ever used again, I deposited directly and spanked everything that goes. Including all debits go back.

I have 4 therapies behind me. So far, there was only one therapy that combined drugs and gambling.

I already have an insolvency behind me due to the history that went from 2017-2022. Last year I got the residual Debt discharge.

Currently it looks like this with the debts:

Private individuals: 5300 euros
Collection: 910,44 Euro
Debts to the previous employer: 5275
Banks/short credit: 2666 Euro

Privately I pay off 100 Euro per month at a good friend.
Since I became unemployed at the end of June, I got citizen's allowance transferred a few days ago. I have of course in a night and fog action verhauen.

That means I can't pay the rent next month. A new insolvency is also not possible because of the block. I have now contacted zich debt counseling. They would help me. But they also want money. As a rule, up to 1000 euros. It is possible to pay in installments, but the chances of success are uncertain. Since I can no longer get into insolvency, there is only the possibility of a settlement.

And now imagine that only one creditor says no. Then everything was for nothing and I still have to pay the installments for the debtor counseling.

I have already put my car and PC on classifieds/mobile. So far no message.

I go from the 25.7 the 3 weeks in a rehab. Since I am open with the subject and have already had 1000 relapse, the relationship between my mother and me is strained. She can't take it all anymore. And I can understand all this.

You know, as soon as I get close to a nose, fire is free. I don't think about anything or anybody anymore. Totally in the tunnel. I know all my problems. I know skills etc.pp. Still I don't do it in those situations.

So in a nutshell:

I currently have 0 euros available. All direct debits that went back want their money. Next month Cashper and Ferratum will try to debit. Electricity, Insurance, the installment to my friend - everything does not go off.

I have already written to the banks that I am not able to pay the installments.

Still, I can't clear my head when I know that everyone wants their money. And I need to have my head clear during the detox to be able to participate.


Maybe you have some ideas/tips/suggestions.

I was thinking of writing off my Citizen's Allowance social advisor and telling him the whole thing. Maybe at least the rent can be shot ahead and in the future then directly on the account of the landlord to land.
Incidentally, the social welfare office also knows everything. I had to write in whether I have debts and whether I have diseases. And the last 3 monthly bank statements show or present.

My panic is only that the payments will be stopped.

I have only the fear that

I know exactly what you mean. With me also over years the same pattern. As soon as something was there, I became directly unreasonable. If nothing is there, no problem with the Zock shit. I still have to nibble on the consequences in the form of debts. And that was ultimately the reason to be able to control it at present to some extent. The back payment is a real pain in the ass. Well, besides the hint to simply shoot nothing more, the occupation with other things has helped me in the course of time. Look for something that binds your time and that also brings a result, where you can see the invested time.

Am today also still not completely of it, but play actually only No deposit.
Good luck, where there is a will, there is also a way...

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Dutch78
Expert

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 02:14 pm CEST#20
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Begbie wrote on 07/22/2023 at 12:56 pm: Knows exactly what you mean.

Respect dear Begbie;

i like this side of you, because it has a lot of empathy and self-reflection, two qualities that are far from everyone and completely contrary to the otherwise actually "loud" Begbie, which I actually do not take his "role" and suspect that here once the "real" Begbie has written.

You should only watch out that this remains the exception to the rule, not that you are perceived afterwards still as pleasant and quite symphatic

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 02:35 pm CEST#21
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It is also liberating for me to read that it also affects some here. I think the dark figure is also very large here.

Again to @Tanteju86:

I could not keep the whole thing secret at all. I notice everything immediately after a relapse. I am not available for days, get depressions and suicidal thoughts, and then my acquaintances & family already know. The worst thing is to confess the whole thing again. There is no more understanding on the part of friends and acquaintances. But I feel freer.

I hope simply again a new input and/or another kind of the therapy. Maybe there is also a nerve with me that has not yet been hit.

Respect also to you that you reveal yourselves so!

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Anonym

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 03:26 pm CEST#22
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Auntju86 wrote on 07/22/2023 at 03:46 PM:

Your ideas and help are so super. The way you respond to him and his problem is so appreciative and empathetic... Great!

Thank you for the kind words!


You did write in your post:

"but this addiction is just my absolute weakness and incompetence. It is my escape from reality, in which I can't even stand two days sober. I don't know what to do with myself on my own for 10 minutes. I have also done therapies, but no one and nothing can fill my inner emptiness in the long run. I am happy about things selectively, but in the long run I feel nothing. Only when I consume.

In the meantime I have come to terms with the fact that I will die "young". And hopefully after that I'll get the chance to live again and do everything differently."



To a certain extent it may be weakness, but addiction also has something to do with predisposition. Some people have these gene variants in their body that make them susceptible to addiction, and some don't. And that you write that you can't do anything with yourself for 10 minutes makes me really sad. I can't really imagine how that feels either.

Is that kind of feeling that you are trapped in your body and just want to bang your head against the wall. Permanent negative whirlpool of thoughts?

As far as death goes, I think the same way you do. And that probably sounds a little harsh, but I think we're here right now to get it right in this life. I've been on the verge of suicide many times too, but the words of suicides who have survived it, among others, keep me from it. Saw a documentary once about the jumpers from the Golden Gate Bridge. There are some who survived the fall unscathed and were rescued. They all said through the bank:

"The moment I jumped, I knew instantly that it was 100% wrong, there can be nothing more wrong than that"

From the feeling I have there directly thought that they hit the bull's eye with this assessment. According to their statement, these people would not even dream of taking their own lives. I could go on and on, but it's a bit weird to write about this topic in public. I would have you also rather written by PM everything, but that is not possible iwie.

You of course also all the best, and please stay with us, Tanteju!

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Rainmann
Elite

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 07:30 pm CEST#23
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Without the dirty drug you would not play have I understood that correctly? If so, then I would visit a rehab clinic in your place and get treatment there first. When you are off the drug there should be no more problems with gambling.
After 3-4 suicide attempts, you should actually have been admitted to a mental hospital, or am I seeing this wrong?

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 08:01 pm CEST#24
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Liked this post: Avatar von Arschi Arschi

Rainmann wrote on 22.07.2023 at 19:30: Without the dirty drug you would not play have I understood correctly? If so, then I would visit a rehab clinic in your place and give me treatment there first. When you are off the drug there should be no more problems with gambling.
After 3-4 suicide attempts, you should actually have been admitted to a mental hospital, or am I seeing this wrong?


Correct. No substance = No gambling
A mental hospital is nothing else than a psychiatric hospital. As long as you don't say I'm going to kill myself, you won't be locked away.

But as written by me and some already, one bad day/stress/annoyance/loneliness/grief/self-doubt and you look for the only way. Society doesn't make it easy either. Especially in professional life there is pressure to perform.

Well I'll say goodbye here for now, because I'm off to detox on Tuesday. Thank you for the great contributions and support!

See you soon.

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Rainmann
Elite

I don't know any more either...

22nd Jul. 2023, at 09:20 pm CEST#25
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/22/2023 at 8:01 PM:


Right. No substance = No play
Mental hospital is nothing like a psychiatric hospital after all. As long as you don't say I'm going to kill myself, you don't get locked away.

But as written by me and some already, one bad day/stress/annoyance/loneliness/grief/self-doubt and you look for the only way. Society doesn't make it easy either. Especially in professional life there is pressure to perform.

Well I'll say goodbye here for now, because I'm off to detox on Tuesday. Thank you for the great contributions and support!

See you soon.

Wish you good luck with the detox and hope you finally manage to get away from the stuff 🙏

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Arschi
Visitor

I don't know any more either...

23rd Jul. 2023, at 09:10 pm CEST#26
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LiamSongbird wrote on 07/22/2023 at 8:01 PM:


Right. No substance = No play
Mental hospital is nothing like a psychiatric hospital after all. As long as you don't say I'm going to kill myself, you don't get locked away.

But as written by me and some already, one bad day/stress/annoyance/loneliness/grief/self-doubt and you look for the only way. Society doesn't make it easy either. Especially in professional life there is pressure to perform.

Well I'll say goodbye here for now, because I'm off to detox on Tuesday. Thank you for the great contributions and support!

See you soon.


Hey 😊
i've only been reading along but know the feeling. Same pattern. Sports have helped me incredibly u I still volunteer at the food bank to bridge the free time u give something back.

i wish you all the best for the therapy and I think you are on the right track.
as you have already written, the dark figure is much higher, but you are reflected.
you can do it!
best regards

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P3anut
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 12:43 am CEST#27
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So first and foremost you should clarify this with the rent or your landlord... Because after 2 months rent in arrears you are threatened with eviction.

Alternatively, I would advise you to transfer the rent directly from the job center to the landlord. Thus you come there also no further in temptation. I can understand you absolutely, because if you need money is always a way somehow to get it, even if on the criminal track... And since you also consume is you in this moment anyway any means right and you also completely indifferent because you are not yourself...

There is the possibility, even if you have only recently gone through insolvency proceedings, to submit a so-called affidavit to a bailiff and you virtually make yourself naked and declare that you have nothing that could be taken. Fortunately, we live in a country where there is still help available...

But this should not give you the idea that you can go on like this. You should definitely seek a closed therapy as soon as possible, because as I have read, the 4 previous ones were unfortunately not really successful. Which of course should not be an accusation now! The relapse rate of a Gambling addiction is at least 80%! So you see, you are not alone with your problems! It will be a long and hard way, but as already mentioned, you should not have the possibility to do this only through a day clinic. Because this way you will only cheat yourself and everyone else at the same time. You are not doing yourself any favors.

See that you believe in yourself, hold on to things that give you strength, set yourself small goals, not everything at once and above all allow the help!

I hope you will be able to write here someday: Thanks guys, I made it!


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streetworksusi
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 08:20 am CEST#28
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Hello,

i have read your story and I can understand only too well in which situation you are... Of course, everything seems hopeless now. But I see it the same way as many others who have written comments here. You have to get help in many areas and the problem has to be tackled at the root. Also not every therapy goes equally well....

I am an employee of an addiction counseling center in Germany and directly responsible for the area of "gambling addiction", so I regularly have to deal with fates like yours. Don't give up and face your problem. You have already taken the first step by bravely coming out of the closet. I think that's really great.

Look for a free Debt counseling center. Usually large welfare organizations (Caritas, Diakonie or Red Cross) offer such free consultations.
Don't be discouraged by others telling you that they only have a gambling problem and not a drug problem. The causes of all types of addiction are often the same or similar, even if one is a substance-related addiction and the other a behavioral addiction.
If you feel up to it, go to therapy to get back to the root of your addiction and work through it. This will help you best and is the chance that you can live permanently stable and relapse-free.
This will certainly not be an easy path, but it is definitely worth sticking with it.

If you want more tips, feel free to write me directly (on this platform) or check out the Instagram page of Cafe Connection Donauwörth. This is the page of the addiction counseling center where I work. My name is Susanne Schmidt.

All the best and good luck!

Many greetings

Susanne

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 02:44 pm CEST#29
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Thank you very much for your answers.
@Susi, thank you! I'll try to get in touch with you.

@Yvonka also thank you for your message. But I can't answer you like so many because I don't have enough points.

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LiamSongbird
Rookie

I don't know any more either...

24th Jul. 2023, at 03:13 pm CEST#30
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One more question, what do you think of the Debt counseling where a law firm is behind it? They offer quick help and take care of everything. In my case, I would have to pay 1100-1300 euros and could pay it off in 6 monthly installments. The problem here is that only a direct settlement can be made. If the creditors reject this, I still have to pay off the sum and continue to have the debt on the cheek.


The free debt counseling services in my town are very difficult. Few staff, long time for the first appointment.

And the creditors are breathing down my neck 😭

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