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Gambling addiction in general: I can no longer do everything too late... only my girlfriend keeps me "alive"

Topic created on 26th Jun. 2023 | Page: 1 of 3 | Answers: 39 | Views: 5,257
Randomcapyu
Hello everybody!
First of all about me and my gambling addiction...
I (M22) am addicted to gambling for about 5 years.(Net loss about 150000€)

Was clean for a year in 2022 and then moved to a new city.(was in therapy when I was clean) I earn very good money for my age about 5200€ gross so I could afford a nice apartment in the city paid for the about 1100€ a month.

That went well the first few months met a new woman unfortunately from another city and fell in love with me. and suddenly it started again... Have in about 3 months (January - March) my entire savings 15000 € gambled away and stood with zero there did not even know how to pay for the apartment... then quickly taken 2000 € loan for apartment, etc. but that is already paid off again.

Then I have not played again about 1 1/5 months. (April - mid-May) Then I decided to move back to my parents in September. And thought yes I just take me 15000€ credit so I can then buy a car because there I need one...

No sooner said than done I took the loan and kept the money in my account where it remained until today. Today have of my 20000€ I had on the account 10000€ gambled away so almost everything from credit.
have now still about 10000€ over if I keep that I can buy a car in September but the credit is gone in the end just like that and that must now be paid off every month...

I just do not know any further 400 € fixed costs per month by the loan I know myself to blame but I was just again like in a trance.

I have now already such a long gaming career behind me but today was so bad I have on the way home really briefly considered just run in front of the tracks. But then I remembered my girlfriend and then the thought was quickly gone.

Because credit I will be able to pay off somehow but it makes me still so ready just to pay for nothing 400 € a month. I just feel like I just do not get in my life on the row and it would be best just not to exist Thanks and LG

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Bluff
Expert
first of all, it's good that you realize that you have a problem, so the first step is made. with your salary and your current debts, you should not worry about it. you should tell your girlfriend or parents completely what is going on, be honest with them!
hand over all your finances so that you can collect money every week so that you don't get the idea of gambling again.

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Caro
Expert
Good Morning Randomcapyu ,

you have already taken the first important step by talking about your gambling problem and opening up.

Of course, it didn't go so well that you lost half of your credit, but that's far from the end of the world. You had a weak moment after your gambling break and now you have to be all the stronger for it and learn the lesson that the gambling phase is finally over for you.

You should definitely be able to pay the loan installments with your salary, and you can still afford a car with the remaining 10,000 euros. I think it's always very important to talk to the people you trust around you, because they can still support you in getting away from the gambling addiction. Talk openly and honestly with your family and/or girlfriend.
I was most worried when I read your suicidal thoughts.


  • Please get away from the suicidal thoughts: there are some gamblers who also have debts to the bank or have taken out loans. But they too have found a way to pay off the loans/debt. It is not easy, but it is possible to get out of the Debt trap. And on top of that, you earn very good money monthly with your job and should be able to budget well for your fixed costs and other expenses.

  • Try to get away from gambling: Play sports, try out new hobbies or get together with friends or family.

  • Block yourself from all online casinos/gaming sites: register yourself in the OASIS file or write to the customer support of all online casinos where you have gambled and get blocked from gambling . This will give you a break and help you come down.

  • Seek Professional Help: If you really want to get away from gambling, you should start professional therapy again. Since it sounds very acute, I recommend the Glücksspielsucht e. V. http://www.gluecksspielsucht.de/ . There you will find a free Gambling addiction hotline or online counseling with instant chat. You can also find telephone counseling at https://www.spielen-mit-verantwortung.de/ . We also have staff from the addiction counseling center: dilara-streetwork, FachstelleGSSkoeln and streetworksusi


We advise you to seek professional help that will really help you.

It is best to keep the topic of gambling as far away from you as possible in the future. Our and similar portals are basically about gambling in gambling houses, sports betting and the like. Maybe in your case this is not the best environment for your future.

We have a function to delete or pause your account. You have to go to your account dashboard and click on "Pause account" or "Delete account".

The whole GambleJoe team wishes you all the best in your fight against addiction. We hope that you will seek professional help in one of the mentioned ways and get away from gambling.

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frapi07
Elite
Money comes and money goes. Don't worry about that monthly payment. Besides, you still have half of the loan available. So completely for the cat it is not. I would advise you to finish with it. Your money is gone and you have to accept this fact. With your salary you will get back on your feet very quickly. It would be worse if you would earn only 2.000€. So don't give up and just start again. It is important that you seek help. They can be very helpful.

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R3hab
Elite
You're 22 and you're already further along than most, respect for that.

Impulse control is hard, feel what you're going through but luckily you're trying to get your act together
Good luck on your way stay strong.

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Rainmann
Elite
Shit happened but that's just the way it is. The 400 euros a month for the loan you would have to pay anyway even if you had not played or do I see it wrong?

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Caro
Expert

Rainmann wrote on 27.06.2023 at 12:23 pm: Shit happened but is just so. The 400 euros a month for the loan you would have to pay anyway even if you had not played or do I see it wrong?

I agree with you Rainmann, but I think he is really angry that he has gambled away a part of the credit and can not use it for the planned car. So I would understand that now..but clearly the repayment rate remains the same.

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frapi07
Elite

Caro wrote on 06/27/2023 at 12:30 PM:

I agree with you Rainmann, but I think he is really annoyed that he gambled away part of the loan and can't use it for the planned car. So I would understand that now..but clearly the repayment rate remains the same.

Well, obs now a 10k car becomes or 20k... what is the difference? A car should bring you mainly from A to B. Everything else is not important.

What is important is that the TE puts a point and not a comma here and stops gambling and above all builds something up again. With his salary it is no problem. He will have paid off his loan in about 4 years. Sounds like a lot of time, but maybe he can pay it off faster if he puts a little more aside. The TE will have about 3k net, 1k house, 1k to live and 1k just credit. The 4 years will not even be 2 years and the thing is gone.

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Rainmann
Elite

Caro wrote on 06/27/2023 at 12:30 PM:

I agree with you Rainmann, but I think he is really annoyed that he gambled away part of the loan and can't use it for the planned car. So I would understand that now..but clearly the repayment rate remains the same.

Annoyed does one always but if one has therefore already thoughts on the tracks to go one needs professional assistance. He lives again with his parents and thus saves the 1100 euros for the apartment. If you consider that he could even increase the rate with his good salary so that the loan is paid faster. The girlfriend holds to him so he also manages to let the gambling be. I wish him all the best 🙏

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frapi07
Elite
Rainmann wrote on 27.06.2023 at 12:47 pm:

Annoyed one does itself always however if one has therefore already thoughts on the rails to go one needs professional assistance. He lives with his parents again and saves the 1100 euros for the apartment. If you consider that he could even increase the rate with his good salary so that the loan is paid faster. The girlfriend holds to him so he also manages to let the gambling be. I wish him all the best 🙏

Yes true, that he has moved back to his parents I had forgotten. I still think that you can assume that he will participate a little there and pay a small rent or board money. Nevertheless, he can save just here once again massively and increase his rate significantly. One can restrict yes 1 year its consumption behavior. Nobody dies from that.

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upola
Legend
I think this is a bit exaggerated.
At 5200 gross, the financial problems can't be that big.

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Caro
Expert

frapi07 wrote on 06/27/2023 at 12:44 PM:

Well, obs now a 10k car becomes or 20k... what is the difference? The main purpose of a car is to get you from A to B. Everything else is not important.

What is important is that the TE puts a point and not a comma here and stops gambling and above all builds something up again. With his salary it is no problem. He will have paid off his loan in about 4 years. Sounds like a lot of time, but maybe he can pay it off faster if he puts a little more aside. The TE will have about 3k net, 1k house, 1k to live and 1k just credit. The 4 years will not even be 2 years and the thing is gone.

Yes, I agree with you! I hope he gets his act together and gets professional help. He was already 1 year clean thanks to therapy and I think he will make it again.

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frapi07
Elite

upola wrote on 06/27/2023 at 13:18: I think this is a bit exaggerated.
At 5200 gross, the financial problems can't be that big.

Well, you would have to be in your skin. I think it's the total package. Lost 150k within a few years. Then did ne therapy and then lost again 10k. For one or the other this can already represent a hopeless situation One wonders whether the therapies and efforts help at all and perhaps one sees in the moment only a black tunnel, although there is little black. Maybe he had received the capital through crypto wins or an inheritance. Who knows. Anyway, that's a lot of money and maybe you think in the moment that you won't have that much anymore. But yes, 22 years old is still very young and for a 22 year old he earns very very well and I hope he comes to his senses and rolls up his sleeves .

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R3hab
Elite

frapi07 wrote on 27.06.2023 at 15:04:

Well, you would have to be in his skin. I think it's the total package. Lost 150k within a few years. Then did ne therapy and then lost 10k again. For one or the other this can already represent a hopeless situation One wonders whether the therapies and efforts help at all and perhaps one sees in the moment only a black tunnel, although there is little black. Maybe he had received the capital through crypto wins or an inheritance. Who knows. Anyway, that's a lot of money and maybe you think in the moment that you won't have that much anymore. But yes, 22 years old is still very young and for a 22 year old he earns very very well and I hope he comes to his senses and rolls up his sleeves .

Ne therapy helps already, but in the end it is also no guarantee


Everyone who plays knows how quickly it can escalate, and that one can happen on the other

Wage gone - job gone - credit gone
It happens faster than you think.
So rich Chinese from the USA became addicted to gambling and lost everything
So I think it has nothing to do with money
We can all fall and money is not even the most important thing to lose,
the time and mental concentration
The mind is properly taken through ^^

For this again respect, that you are clear, that's important

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refucs
Expert

Try to look on the bright side:

You are healthy (physically), earn good money, you have all the possibilities to bring the current misery itself back into the positive, pay off loans and save again. Girlfriend and family in the background who stand behind you. And when you are free from gambling again, completely different thoughts come back and a path worth taking.

With your own skin you have now experienced that there is no money to be made with slots.

I keep my fingers crossed for you.

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