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Gambling addiction in general: An end in sight?

Topic created on 17th May. 2018 | Page: 1 of 1 | Answers: 8 | Views: 3,798
Ray07

An end in sight?

17th May. 2018, at 11:31 am CEST#1
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Hello dear community,
Now I have also made the decision to open up completely and tell my story... I hope this helps...

It all started about 3 years ago when I went with colleagues for fun in a game store. Times here times there for fun 10-20 euros purely. As I think it has started with everyone.
Over months we went again and again for fun. I never really won that much. However, never really lost much either.

When I had to move alone to a foreign city after my apprenticeship, I got the idea to go to a gambling house out of boredom. I told no one that I was doing this alone. Because somehow it seemed strange to me... I did not want to be such an addict who goes alone to the spielo. But I did it anyway. And there was already the first big win without losing much before. I won at Book of Ra FS on 20ct with 5 explorers. i cashed out 1100 euros, it was such an overwhelming feeling to have won so much money.
I said to myself that I will not go for now. But as it had to come, I went the following months and gambled away the entire win in the hope of winning something like that again. You really think, I did it once, why shouldn't I do it again?

At the time I had bought a car on credit, of which at that time still 12k were to be paid off.

When I had to move again because of my job, I was again in a foreign city. The Spielo I had but completely out of my head, because it was simply absurd to go alone and I had already gambled too much. However, at the beginning of last year I discovered the online casino for me (bwin Casino App).
I played exclusively the game Dragons Treasure (at FS always the best or 2.best symbol chosen). I played my checking account from 1000 to zero euros when I got the 2nd best symbol 5 with the last spins on 1 euro. Was I again at 1000 euros. Those were then for the time being in the payout. A few days later I took again 200 euros from the payout and came while gambling on 2.4k. I could not believe it myself what happened.
I played the following days/weeks again and again. On one day I had reached 11k. I imagined what I could do with the money, pay off the car, have more money available every month... but in the same night I took everything out of the payout and played myself down to zero with 5 Euro spins. Continued to pay in until my account was about 3000 euros in overdraft. I was really devastated. Had considered telling my parents about it, but what did I do? Set again "the last" 100 euros.
And what happened then, I could not believe myself absolutely... I played me on 2.50 per turns on about 1100 euros. There I already thought to myself "okay, pay it off, then you are already less in the miesen". What I did not. I put on 10 euros and FS followed. And it actually came 5 heads from the 2nd best symbol which I had chosen in the FS. 20k in one go. All was well again, more than well. I had 10k paid out. Paid off the car and the remaining 10 were on hold. But as it had to come so it overcame me. I gambled away the entire amount which had been in the payout. Further I played my current account on -5k. With the credit card or immediate transfer were just quickly times 500 deposited. There was simply nothing more, as if it had been programmed that you get nothing more after such a win. I was just so desperate that it can not be that nothing more comes in... my head stopped completely, as if in a trance. I had the deposited 10k for the loan transferred back to my checking account, so that I had money in my account again.

But that was not enough. I also gambled away this amount again up to the overdraft limit of -5k. -> 14k Debt (credit and overdraft).

To get out of the overdraft of -5000, I took out another loan of 7k (16k debt). I told myself never again... that went well for a few months. When I finally started depositing small amounts again. Shortly I won again 10k, but gambled it away again... then was again a break of 2-3 months.

Relapses came again 2 months ago and I was again at the dispo limit. From which I managed by luck (tax/accident money) and by increasing the existing second loan again.
Currently I stand at a total of 15k debt (car 5500/ other loan 9500) and zero euros in the account.

On the other hand I still have my car which is worth about 20k. So I have no debts in the real sense. Only I would have with the win just times 30k more... that is what makes my head so ready. This win, which has actually been there.

Every time I know that I get money, I say "oh come 50 euros again can not hurt, maybe something comes." And with the 50 it never remains... in the last 3 days I gambled away again 2100 euros. Never again since then what won big. And of course, why should you pay out 200 euros plus something?

Have me now for the time being at the casinos where I played locked / deleted and am just about to sell my car. Then I will pay off the loans to start my new start without casino. I just realize how I harm the close environment with it, I am so in trance that I neglect the people who are important to me. Especially since nobody knows that I gamble.
Every now and then it makes me depressed.
And it makes me really sad because I don't know how this could happen. I was always the one who saved every cent, and then I gamble away amounts in the 5 digit range... or when I look at the bank statements from the times now. I really think I'm crazy. How many transfers of 50, 100, 200, even many 500 euros amounts are out.... incredible.

Shortly to me, I am in my early 20s and have the life still before me. And I don't want to ruin it with these stupid pictures... I really want to make it, and this post was the first step.

Thank you!


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Anonym

An end in sight?

17th May. 2018, at 11:42 am CEST#2
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Then protect yourself - sell the car and let your parents handle the repayments. The main thing is that you don't waste everything again. Then you really have a chance to start from scratch and let the gambling be. Wish you only the best and that it works out!

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Ray07

An end in sight?

17th May. 2018, at 11:51 am CEST#3
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Aka wrote on 17.05.2018 at 11:42: Then protect yourself - sell the car and let your parents handle the repayments. The main thing is you don't blow it all again. Then you really have a chance to start over and stop gambling. Wish you only the best and that it works out!

Thank you!
No no, I will pay off the loans as one-time payments in one go. Then I have already 500 euros more in the month at my disposal...

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Begbie
Elite

An end in sight?

17th May. 2018, at 03:24 pm CEST#4
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quite a few people here should be familiar with this resume.
take out loans to pay off pre-loans. who doesn't know it?!
but: lebbe goes weida. never forget!
having debts is not a disgrace. even the state is totally in Debt *fg*

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Anonym

An end in sight?

17th May. 2018, at 07:21 pm CEST#5
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Ray07 - . I know your situation too well. I had won at Sportingbet once 15000 and once 12000 euros . I could bet as I wanted . It went like butter . If a working day was not so great.....no matter! Just in one evening easily 1000! Euro deposited . About 3 years have passed since then. With distance seen, one was simply insane. Today I'm annoyed when I lose 100 euros a month . My goal is to eventually pay in nothing at all . I know 10 euros to appreciate properly again. Salary has now gone on the 14th 's account. Believe me, it's so cool to save a lot again . Especially the feeling that you could spend it - makes you sleep much more peacefully again . No more nights where you lose a lot , and next day still motivated to go to work . It's like a new life .

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Andrew789
Experienced

An end in sight?

17th May. 2018, at 09:17 pm CEST#6
1 Like

Liked this post: Avatar von Ray07 Ray07
Awesome story. Especially that it became so strong so quickly... but I have similar experiences. My worst experience was when I ran down about 7000 euros again. That kept me busy for weeks... Fortunately I never accumulated huge debts, but about -1000 euros on the checking account it was already times. Currently I'm also a bit in the red on the account and have given my EC card to a trusted person for the time being. I don't want to have it break everything anymore. I've told myself this many times, but I hope that I'll manage this time and only gamble a little. Maybe one day I'll even be able to lead a life without gambling. But for now, my goal is to only gamble a little and get out of the red. For this I would have to hold back "only" 2 months in gambling. Wait and see

You in any case much strength. If everything is on 0 by the sale, then put you a small car and take good care that you do not get back into the minus. Unfortunately, it often happens very quickly. Maybe you also block credit cards or give them up for the time being. I always pay only by Paysafecard. Then maybe a maximum of 300 euros are gone in one day. Of course, that would still be a lot, but you'd probably have to go to 2-3 stores and buy a PSC first. The inhibition threshold is higher and if your card is gone, you would have to go again.

Also really bad that your casino stalls the payouts so long... If that were not so, you would have paid out more. Maybe deposited again, but I think you rather gamble away 10,000 on the player account than Deposit 10,000 again. At Rizk you can block withdrawals. And Videoslots is supposed to process them within a few minutes. But best not gamble at all

So good luck to you and everyone!

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Pagani
Rookie

An end in sight?

18th May. 2018, at 03:38 pm CEST#7
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Liked this post: Anonym, Avatar von Ray07 Ray07
Dear Ray,

writing about it is always the first step to recovery. After all, you do not deny your problem. I have also already 3k amounts completely pointless again verballert. I remember Casino Club, which is kind enough not to pay out over the weekend. Mostly I had then but then wins. The chance that the, if I had won on Friday, but remained until Monday was very low. And although I have sworn again and again not to Deposit anything there from Friday, I did it then anyway.

I find the comparison of Gambling addiction with bipolar disorder (manic depressive) very apt. Manic at the moment of winning and depressive when you are tormented with reproaches for not having stopped. Actually, the depression begins with me already when I see it goes downward, and I still do not stop at e.g. 1000 euros. I hope and pray that it goes up again. And even if that works and I think "When I get to X amount again I'll stop immediately", I have to admit that these are just empty, baseless promises to myself. I usually don't stop then. Then all the begging for another chance doesn't help anymore. They are used up at some point.

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Ray07

An end in sight?

18th May. 2018, at 10:48 pm CEST#8
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Begbie wrote on 05/17/2018 at 3:24 pm: this vita should be familiar to quite a few here.
take out loans to pay off pre-loans. who doesn't know it?!
but: lebbe goes weida. never forget!
having debts is not a disgrace. even the state is totally in Debt *fg*

Exactly, I think to myself also again and again. People have millions in debt, but woe betide the little citizen who doesn't pay and goes into debt ðŸ™"ðŸ™"

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Ray07

An end in sight?

18th May. 2018, at 10:54 pm CEST#9
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Sigura43 wrote on 05/17/2018 at 19:21: Ray07 - . I know your situation too well . I had won at Sportingbet once 15000 and once 12000 euros at that time . I could bet as I wanted . It went like butter . If a working day ran times not so great.....no matter! Just in one evening easily 1000! Euro deposited . About 3 years have passed since then. With distance seen, one was simply insane. Today I'm annoyed when I lose 100 euros a month . My goal is to eventually pay in nothing at all . I know 10 euros to appreciate properly again. Salary has now gone on the 14th 's account. Believe me, it's so cool to save a lot again . Especially the feeling that you could spend it - makes you sleep much more peacefully again . No more nights where you lose a lot , and next day still motivated to go to work . It's like a new life .

That's exactly how it is! With the big losses I just wanted to spend the whole day in my bed, because I was so ashamed of having gambled everything away again. You usually realize that only a few hours later so really... meanwhile always "come the bet I still have to get in" is you then really back at the bet, you think "oh now should also come again" vicious circle...!
And I think with Online Casinos it is simply the problem that you do not really see the money as money. Like monopoly play money, only a few numbers on the screen. Nothing real in the hand. In a real casino this would never happen to me. There you have it in your hand... really a hell the OCs... even if you win then times fat. It all starts with the first win. If only I had never won ðŸ˜...
The thing about valuing money is really true. What you can buy with 50 euros everything ...

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